Santana, Samba, and a Jealous Brittany!
by Purple-Ketchup
Summary: This is what I think might have happened after the immortal line : "Never." What happens when Sam and Santana finally get down to talking about Brittany and jealousy? Little One-shot I did for a Lesbro in need of something to read. Please Review!


"_make no mistake, she's mine.._" Hey guys, this is my interpretation of the conversation Santana and Sam should have had in the scene after the duel! Quick little one-shot Dedicated to my lesbro, who needed something to read ;) check out her fic, her name is Wankybrittana123 :D (Love ya ;D)

I don't own glee, but if I did, Santana would be at NYADA, and Brittany would be at Julliard and they'd be together and get married and ride unicorns to their wedding. And they'd have a dog called Noah. (yes, after Noah Puckerman himself)

Santana turned to Sam, "This isn't over." He rolled his eyes. "Yes it is Santana! Don't you get it? She loves me now, not you!" The brunette smirked, taking Sam in. 'He really thinks Brittany loves him? I. Think. Not.' She sighed with just a hint of exasperation. "Oh Salmon mouth, you think you're the last bag of Cheetos in the hunger games, don't you! Well, Lippy McGupster, I hate to tell you this, but you are _so_ wrong." One of his eyebrows raised treacherously, daring Santana to carry on, and she wasn't going to back down to _Sam_ of all people. "You see, I know as well as, actually probably better, than you do that Brittney never gets angry. It just doesn't happen. But Jealous? Tell me trouty, have you ever seen Brittany get really jealous over you?" A little bit of apprehension began to show in Sam's eyes. A triumphant smirk began to play over Santana's mouth.

"Yeah, I have Santana." Now it was the Latina's turn to look ever so slightly bemused. "She told one of the cheerleaders to back off the other day." Santana actually collapsed laughing. She was on the verge of tears for a while, before finally regaining some of her composure. After a while, she managed to choke out, "Y-you thin... You think THAT is.. Jealous Brittany!?" She then promptly doubled over, laughter visibly shaking her. Sam was confused, and started to get a little angry. "So what the hell IS jealous Brittney then, Santana? Huh? You seem to be an expert, so tell me!" A little more force was in his words, and Santana decided to stop teasing him. She straightened up, flashing him her queen bitch grin. "Oh, I'll tell you if you want, trouty. You're not going to like it if I do though.. People find I can be a little.. _Graphic _with the details." Sam swallowed hard, he was pretty sure knew what she meant by that.

They sat Indian-style on the floor of the auditorium, facing each other. Funny thing, actually, it was almost civilised. "Let me give you a _tame_ example of the jealous Brittany that _I _know. Why don't we try, about 19th of April last year?" He nodded his head, slightly uncertain. "Well, it was about a month after that Salazar commercial aired, you know, the one that outed me. Me and Britt decided to go out and party with Puck, and ditch you lightweights that can't take your drink...

_"Hurry up San! We're gonna be late!" I had to laugh, my girlfriend was being adorable again. I could never resist that pout. "I'm just coming babe! Puck can wait a minute!" I finished touching up my makeup, before walking out of my house hand in hand with Brittany. To hell with what others think, she's mine, and proudly so. A car horn tooted loudly from across the street, signalling Puck's arrival and his evident impatience. "Hold up Puckerman! We're coming!" I realised what I'd just said, the same moment that I heard a loud and very obvious "WANKY!" being yelled across to my door. 'What the hell.' I shrugged, and kissed Brittany to emphasise Puck's point. Brittany mumbled something into my neck, just loud enough for me to hear. "C'mon babe, let's go. I wahnts to get Mah drinks on." I couldn't help but laugh. "Was that meant to be me? Do me more justice than that Britt-Britt." We walked over the street, to Puckerman's car. We were going to a Spanish club tonight, purely my preference but Britt had said it would be fun, and I just know Puck loves us spicy Latina chicas..._

"You sure you want me to keep going, Sammy Boy? You're starting to look a little nervous, and we haven't even got the story going properly yet." He looked at Santana pointedly, as if to say, 'Get on with it.' She grinned, and that made Sam shiver. She really looked like a shark for a second, and the boy knew she was probably twice as dangerous, and just as good a hunter.

_"We're here, chicas! Leave the Spanish to me, Puck. Round here, you're no badass, you're a white boy that talks big. They know me here." Brittany looked on, and couldn't help but be impressed, as she watched her brunette girlfriend strut up to the doorman, brushing past the entire que. "Hola Amigo. Me llamo Lopez. Santana Lopez. _¿Me recuerdas?" _The bouncer nodded, and stepped aside, allowing the 3 to enter the club. Before she went inside, Brittany looked at the name of the club. It was called _Sexo, drogas y Samba._She would have to get Santana to translate that later.. _

"Last chance to back out! I tell you the rest and you are going to question _everything _you thought you knew about when Brittany gets possesive." Granted, the boy did look paler, and the colour had drained from his face a little bit. But of course, now she had started, Sam couldn't let Santana stop. "Just get on with it, Lopez. Just get to the point already, I've got an appointment." Santana scoffed, "With the mouth reduction surgeon? I'll get there fish lips." All the mouth jokes were beginning to grate on Sam's nerves, but he needed to hear the rest of the story. He needed to know.

_They walked up to the bar, with Santana slipping easily back and forth between languages. " Hey Puck, beer right? Okay. Tres cervesas, por favor." Brittany walked up behind Santana, looping her arms easily. "You know I love it when you speak Spanish, right?" She began tracing light kisses up and down Santana's neck. "Hmm.. Sí..Lo sé, pero tu me vuelves loca sólo me miraba." The blonde giggled into her girlfriend. "I don't know what you're saying, San. But I bet it's something sexy.." She trailed off, waiting for Santana to confirm it. "It means you drive me crazy by just looking at me, babe. And it's true." They took the beers over to Puck, and whispered 'I love you's' to each other._

"Now at this point, Sammy, it was all fine. We kept drinking, and we were pretty drunk when we started dancing. Next thing I know, Britt needs the bathroom, but tells me to stay there and keep going. She tole me she'd be right back. Are you sweating? Because its about to heat up, Sammy. This is the whole reason I'm still here. The next 10 minutes. You ready for this?" A shaky, deliberate nod. A silent affirmation to Santana to keep going. "If you _insist_.." She said, knowing full well he did.

_Santana was dancing away, still waiting for Brittany to get back. Meanwhile, a certain red head had taken a liking to Santana. The brunette saw a flash of red, and a white grin, as the woman began to move around her seductively. "I'm taken, you know!" She calls out, repeating it in Spanish, just in case. "It's never stopped me before." She hears, before the girl is pushing Santana against a wall, trying to kiss her. "HEY! That's my GIRLFRIEND!" Santana flooded with relief, Brittany was here. _

_Blonde hair whipped after its owner, Brittany ran at the red head full pelt. She wrenched her off of Santana, and shoved her over, picking her her up to crush her against the wall. "You EVER go near _my _girlfriend again, I. Will. Ends you. Got it?" the girl nodded as much as she could with Brittany's elbow digging into her chin. "Good, because she. Is. Mine. You look at her, you touch her, you talk to her again and I will have you on the ICU ward before you can say 'Hey Babe.' Got it?" Another silent nod. "You better." Then, Brittany gave the girl a hard slap, almost identical to the one Santana had given Finn. Brittany stepped back, allowing the girl to run away. Santana just stared, slightly open-mouthed. " Ay dios mío..That was..SO hot." And then it was Brittany up against the wall, with Santana on top of her. This time, neither girl resisted._

"So trouty, do you still think you've seen jealous Brittany? Let's see, a little 'Back off' or an ' .Ends you.' I may be biased, but face facts. There's no competition." And with that parting thought, Santana got up, smoothed out the creases in her purple dress, and left Sam to sit and mess with his thoughts.

Hey guys, do you like it? Spanish translations are:

Chicas : girls

_Hola Amigo. Me llamo Lopez. Santana Lopez. _¿Me recuerdas?: hello my friend. My name is Lopez. Santana Lopez. Remember me?

Sexo, drogas y Samba: sex, drugs, and samba

_Sí..Lo sé, pero tu me vuelves loca sólo me miraba : yes..I know, but you drive me crazy just be looking at me._

_Ay dios mío : oh my god_

_Thanks for reading, please review! -B xxx _


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